Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.
After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified.
Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head.
There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.
'Hmmm....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was
contemplating his reply..
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had
found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said..
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response... 'Oh sure',said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling sogood, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk essa diarréia é rápida mesmo...
A lawyer was driving distracted when he passes through the STOP light of the traffic light right in front of 2 policemen.
The two policemen told him to stop, but he was accting like a smart guy.
Policeman: - Good afternoon. Your licence and registration, please.
Lawyer: - But why are you asking me that?
Policeman: - You didn't stop at the STOP light back there.
Laywer: - I slowed the speed down 'cause I didn't see anyone passing buy...
Policeman: - Exactly!!! Registration and license, please.
Laywer: - Do you know the difference between slowing down and stop juridically?
Policeman: - The difference is that the law says that at the STOP light, you've got to STOP! Registration and licence, PLEASE!
Lawyer: - Or NOT, policeman. I'm a lawyer and I know your limitations regarding to law's interpretation, I suggest you the following: if you explain to me the legal difference between SLOWING DOWN and STOP, I give you the registration and the driver's licence, then you can fine me. Otherwise, I go home with no fine. ok??
Policeman: - Ok, I agree. Can you do us favor? Can you please get out of the car Mr. Lawyer??
Then the lawyer gets out of the car and the cops starts to beat him, kick him, they knock him everywhere, slaps, punches all over, step on him, etc. What a beating!
The lawyer starts to scream "HELP, HELP!" Begging them to stop beating him for God sake!
Then the cops ask: - You want us to STOP or SLOW DOWN???
The lawyer says: - STOP! STOP! STOP!
Policeman: - All right... Registration and licence, please.