PIADA - Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.

The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was $250. "$250", the man said.

"Well what does he do? "

He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.

"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.

The clerk replied, "$1,000."

Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

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Boa!

Taxista - Cabby

Outra definição para taxista.

Cabby - taxista.

Can you hail a cabby for me?

Pode me chamar um taxista pra mim?

falow!

RUN INTO THE GROUND - passar da conta

Bom gente,

Essa expressão é legal. é usada de vez em quando. normalmente quando alguém passa do "limite" com você.

Normalmente usada pra quem tem o "pavio curto".

Veja:

I didn't like that joke about her. You're running into the ground.

Não gostei da piada que você contou sobre ela. Você tá passando do limite.

Essa é a dica de hoje, galera.

PIADA - Loira

A blind man enters a blondes bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loudVoice,

" Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.

In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

" Before you Tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind,That you should know five things:

One: The bartender is a blonde woman.

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black Belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!

Now, think about it seriously, mister.

Do you still want to tell that joke ?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says:

"Nah noo. .. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

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Esse cego deve ter apanhado poquin.

PIADA - Lost wife

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide.

One says to the other, "I'm sorry - I was looking for my wife."

"What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate."

"Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?"

"She's tall, with long hair, long legs, firm boobs and a tight ass.

What's your wife look like?"

"Never mind, let's look for yours!"

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Até eu quero achar essa mulher. rsrsrsr

PIADA - novice golf player

A young guy who's never picked up a golf club decides to take lessons.

The pro shows him the basics, then says,

"Okay, now try to hit the ball towards the flag on the first green."

The novice tees off and drive the ball 300 yards.

It lands on the green, just inches from the hole.

"Now what?" he says.

"Uh," stammers the pro, "you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup."

The beginner says, "Now you tell me?!"

E era porque é só iniciante...

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PIADA - sawmill

Some men were working at a sawmill when one of them got too close to the blade and had his ear lopped off.

The guys quickly started rummaging through the sawdust looking for the ear.

"I found it!" exclaimed a co-worker.

"Keep looking," said the earless one.

"Mine had a pencil behind it."

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Será que tinha orelha arrancada?

PIADA - chicken pox

Bom,

Pensei muito. Pensei, pensei, pensei, pensei até decidir colocar uma nova sessão no blog chamada:

PIADAS.

Não sei porque decidi isso mas foi uma decisão muito difícil. Até porque é um blog muito sério como vocês mesmos podem contestar.

heheheeheh.

Claro que não seriam piadas em português, não é?

Veja abaixo a primeira piada da sessão PIADAS.

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CHICKEN POX

My five-year-old son hadn't been feeling well for a few days.

When spots appeared on this skin, I told him I thought he had chicken pox.

"But," Mick wailed, "I havent' even been near a chicken!"

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